Summary
The Drive podcast, hosted by Peter Atia, features guests who discuss health and wellness topics. In this episode, Atia interviews Terry Real, a family therapist and author, who shares his personal background growing up with an abusive father and how it led him to become a therapist. Real founded the Relational Love Institute and offers workshops for couples, individuals, and clinicians. The conversation covers topics such as trauma, the relationship between anger and depression, living a relational life, and narcissism. Real also discusses his book, "I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression." Overall, the episode provides insightful and illuminating content for listeners interested in mental health and relationships.
The podcast discusses the concept of relational empowerment, which is being strong and loving at the same time. The traditional gender role for men involves denying vulnerability and having a delusion of dominance. Shame and guilt are also explored, with shame being feeling bad about oneself as a person and guilt being feeling bad about one's behavior. The podcast also touches on the balance between preventing the propagation of shame or trauma and over-coddling children, emphasizing the importance of trust and civility.
The speaker, a therapist, explains that shame and grandiosity are two sides of the same coin, with shame leading to feelings of inferiority and grandiosity leading to feelings of superiority. Men tend to be more susceptible to grandiosity, while women tend to lead more from the victim position. The speaker also talks about the issue of depression in men, which is often hidden due to societal expectations of masculinity. He believes that the key to fixing this issue is to teach people how to live relational lives and to work on their relationships rather than dealing with it abstractly.
The context is a conversation about the harmful effects of patriarchy and the Icarus syndrome, where men feel like they have to achieve in order to be worthy of connection and relationships. The conversation also touches on narcissism and how it is not a disorder of too much self-love but rather too little, as those with narcissism are addicted to their image rather than their internal self. The speaker describes healthy entitlement as good, but when it is strained through patriarchy, it becomes unhealthy.
The context is a conversation between two individuals discussing the concept of relational therapy. The discussion starts with a story about a man who ordered eggs by accident but ended up inviting a woman to dinner out of empathy. The conversation then moves on to discuss the formula of helplessness leading to anger and how to overcome it. The topic of couple therapy is also discussed, with the emphasis on the three phases of relational therapy - loving confrontation, family of origin work, and teaching skills.
In this podcast, the host and guest discuss how couples therapy can transform relationships and the importance of sincerity in the process. They also touch on deal-breakers in relationships, such as addiction and violence, and the impact of witnessing abuse on children. The guest, a therapist, shares stories of successful transformations in his clients and emphasizes the need for ongoing support to maintain progress. The conversation ends with a personal anecdote about the guest's relationship with his father and the power of love in the face of illness and death.
Overall, this podcast episode provides valuable insights into mental health and relationships, covering topics such as trauma, depression, shame, and narcissism. The guest, Terry Real, offers his expertise as a family therapist and author, sharing personal anecdotes and practical advice for listeners. The conversation is engaging and informative, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of the importance of relational empowerment and the power of therapy to transform relationships.
