#139 - Kristin Neff, Ph.D.: The power of self-compassion

Summary

In this episode of The Drive podcast, host Peter Etia interviews Dr. Kristen Neff, an expert on self-compassion and mindfulness. Kristen shares her personal experience of discovering self-compassion through mindfulness meditation and emphasizes the importance of activating the self-compassionate part of ourselves, which is easier than we might think. She also discusses the negative effects of self-esteem and how self-compassion is a more helpful approach to self-worth, as it promotes a sense of intrinsic self-worth and is linked to better mental health outcomes.

The episode also touches on the importance of teaching children about self-compassion, particularly around the age of seven or eight when they have developed concepts of fairness and reciprocity. The potential negative effects of social media on self-esteem are also discussed, and the importance of self-compassion in today's world is emphasized. The episode includes personal stories and experiences of the speaker, including their experience of having a son with autism and how practicing self-compassion and mindfulness helped them accept and support their son.

The discussion then shifts to the relationship between the cerebellum and autism, with a lack of brain integration being a key factor in the condition. Horseback riding can help improve cross-brain communication and aid in language development for autistic children. The episode also discusses the importance of self-compassion in dealing with trauma, and how self-compassion can lead to earned secure attachment as an adult.

The three components of self-compassion are self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity, with the latter being the key factor that distinguishes it from self-pity. Mindfulness is necessary in self-compassion, as it provides balance and perspective. Self-criticism comes from a desire for safety, and self-compassion can help with maladaptive behaviors. The podcast also discusses the relationship between mindfulness and meditation, and how they can be practiced separately. While meditation is a tried and true way to increase mindfulness, it is not necessary to be mindful. Mindfulness is simply being aware of your thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental way.

Overall, this episode of The Drive podcast provides a comprehensive overview of self-compassion and mindfulness, and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion in today's world. The episode includes personal stories and experiences of the speaker, and provides practical tips and tools for practicing self-compassion. Listeners are encouraged to check out Kristen Neff's work and website, as well as the Mindful Self-Compassion program and workbook.